Just hugs and kisses weren’t enough though. Perhaps I was, but he was mixing up cause and effect. He did not say anything about this either, except that I ‘seemed happier’ those days. I hugged him too, when he did something for me, when I’d done something that made him proud or just because. I kissed him before I went to bed, when I was about to leave or when he said something nice about me. I kissed my father again, just like I used to when I was little. I don’t think we ever touched unless accidentally. I kinda felt I’d gone too far, that last week of summer. I'm sorry Daddy.Didn’t seem an option at the time. Daddy is going away: they say Daddy is sick, I hope he gets better soon. Daddy looks shocked as someone runs down the stairs, yelling at Daddy and pulling out guns.ĭaddy drops the hammer and disappears as a policeman comes and unties me, lifting me up and carrying me outside. I try to scream again but it is all muffled, Daddy starts coming towards me with the hammer when he freezes - I hear sirens outside and soon the sound of a group of people entering the house makes me look around, I can't see what's happening. I open my eyes, trying to speak out but I'm too scared and the tape hurts my mouth - why was Daddy doing this? What did I do wrong? I'm so scared - Daddy turns around and he has a hammer.
I cry as Daddy spins the table around, the wheels making screeching sounds on the floor, I scrunch my eyes up as the table is wheeled right under the bright light and Daddy goes to a corner: I kick and scream as Daddy tosses me over his shoulder and heads back down the stairs, I don't stop screaming until Daddy tosses me on the table and tapes my mouth with tape - I wriggle but Daddy pins me down and ties my arms and legs with rope. I run to the kitchen and phone the police, the lady on the phone asks where I am and what is happening - I try to tell her but then I hear the door break open and Daddy rushes in: I drop the phone and run, falling on the floor as Daddy grabs me again. "Emma! Open the door! Daddy is sorry! Just open the door! Emma!" I lock the door and cry again as Daddy starts slamming against the door, yelling at me: I run up the stairs and slam the door shut as I hear Daddy racing up the stairs again.
"It's alright Emma, Daddy just wants to show you his surprise! Don't run! Emma!"ĭaddy's grip gets tighter and tighter, it began to hurt and I cry out again - Daddy's eyes grow wide and he lets me go, as if he is frightened. I jump as Daddy calls me over to the table, I don't want to go and I begin to back away - Daddy gets annoyed and turns around, his eyes are angry and I run back up the stairs: Daddy runs after me and I cry out, he lifts me up and holds me close, whispering in my ear: My name is Emma and I am six years old, today Daddy is going to show me his secret room - he says I've been a good girl and I'm old enough to help him with his work: I'm so happy! Daddy is always so quiet and he never lets me in his secret room.ĭaddy is waiting for me as I come down the stairs, I put on my best dress just as Daddy asked me to and he smiles at me - I smile back and try not to bounce too much: this is going to be so much fun!ĭaddy turns away and motions for me to follow as he opens the door, turning on a light as he goes down a flight of stairs - it is still rather dark down there and I stop for the first time, a little unsure.ĭaddy doesn't like that, his smile fades and he gives me a look that makes me scared - he asks me what's wrong: I don't want Daddy to be upset so I say nothing and come down the stairs, trying not to jump as the door closes behind me, it smells funny down here.ĭaddy turns away again and stands over a table, I look around and see the walls are covered in old newspapers and someone had drawn lots of smiley faces in crayon - looking up I see my old dolls hanging by string: Daddy had taken them away when I was very little, saying big girls don't play with dolls - their dresses were removed and someone had burned off their hair, I tried not to stare too long as they swayed back and forth.